Praying for Sunrise

This is one of those nights where I truly feel Black People are hopeless. That the fight and struggle isn’t worth it. That the emasculation of our men, the violence against our women, the abandonment of our children has finally taken us over the edge.

We trust yt supremacy, racism, hatred, censorship more than we trust each other. We can’t even disagree without totally writing each other off. The second a misunderstanding happens we dismiss an entire movement.

No questions asked.

Beaten. Broken. That’s what we are. We truly think we’re fighting the good fight. We think we’re standing up for what’s right. All we’re doing is fighting a fire by pouring gasoline on it.

Nights like these make me reconsider having children. I mean… how could I?

What world would I be leaving my babies in when I died? Would they even make it to adults? Or would we be saying their names like Tamir? Trayvon? Aiyana? How could I bring a child into this world knowing that there won’t be anyone to protect them once I’m gone?

Nights like these make me feel as if we’ve already lost. That we aren’t fighting at all. That we are comforted by oppression. We’ve become masochists thirsty and desperate for more pain. Even though we may complain, we thoroughly enjoy it.

Nights like these make me day dream of murder. Nights like these make me want to buy a one way international plane ticket. Nights like these feel hopeless. Nights like these stain my pillows. Nights like these make me want to give up on black people all together.

Thank god it’s only 3 hours until sunrise.

19 thoughts on “Praying for Sunrise

  1. You were rockin at the beauty supply store! Their (not that just that store) disrespect of black people has gone too far. I was proud of you. You’re not just doing it on social media. You’re live and in charge. You go girl!

  2. Chyna. this piece was beautifully written but I agree with Conceptual. Sometimes you appear to have nothing positive about “your” people. You have insulted commenters and assumed they were not successful because they disagreed with you. You should try to have more positivity in your posts. The black community and black people could do better but sometimes people want to hear about hope and potential. I don’t believe in judging others when I’ve had the same behavior in the past. I can tell them why I think it’s wrong. You justify performing for white people saying black people don’t support one another. There are music festivals and artists who make most of their money from black supporters. I think that your singing voice is beautiful. Get that album together so we can buy your music.

  3. I enjoy your videos. They speaketh the truth!!! if you don’t like it, don’t watch the videos. It will not always be for the sensitive. This is chynas creative space, though haters keep Nic picking, I support you and have learned a great deal. Keep on trucking…..!!!!

  4. I enjoy your videos. They are not always for the sensitive. It is her space for creativity. If you don’t like it or agree with her, that’s why there are a billion of options.. DONT GO ON THERE. I am here because I support you. You say what others may be afraid to say. She can handle it, while others will hate on it. Thanks Chyna!!!!!!!

  5. Chyna Fox you are an exceptional young woman, you are definitely on the right path. i appreciate you, for all your hard work, your tenacity, your bravery and for being real.

  6. When my daughter was born in 1985 the first thing I said “thank God she was light skinned ” which i have never shared with anyone in my life. When she graduated from high school and was admitted to NYU on a full scholarship majoring in political science i told her my dirty little secret, her response was” mom all my life i wished i had your beautiful brown skin”. During the 70″s i grew up in a white hood and, my sister and i fought for our right to live anywhere my mother bust her ass to afford. My mom could not afford college for my sis and i so she strived very hard for us to get the best education she could help us get. i am posting this to say that anyone can be redeemed BUT WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. we as a nation have to get it together once and for all.

  7. I love your spirit yet at times thoroughly disagree with your approach. You verbally attack brothers and sisters for not being “woke”. But you yourself have forgotten that YOU have not always been woke in your past journey. Someone had to reach out to you in love, encouragement, and enlightenment for you to get on board. Yet you speak about other black people negatively as if you are somehow superior to your own kind. You put disharmony, division, verbal abuse, and criticism into the atmosphere and sit back and marvel at it coming back to you with certain backlash and hopeless feelings. You can’t declare war and then complain of attacks. If I wake up earlier than my brother or sister, does that mean they are not my brother and sister?? Put love and positivity out there and that is what you’ll get back. This is NOT an attack on your character but encouragement for you to compassionately reach out to ALL our brothers and sisters as I’m sure someone has done for you. We are all at different levels in this process. No one can judge. We all need each other.

    1. Who reached out to me? Yes indeed we can judge. I don’t practice Bible beliefs and I don’t look down on anyone. We don’t have time for feelings and gold stars and the blah blah blah. No one is being attacked for not being “woke”. Thanks for coming to the site. But I won’t be changing a damn thing.

      1. No you call people coons and pandas on one hand yet on the other hand you talk about how you yourself were not always woke and being in your interracial relationship. Is that hypocritical? You have not always been as conscious as you currently are is the point.

        1. I sure do. And that’s because they know better and refuse to do better. There’s no reason in 2017 with all these books, all this internet, all these articles, and people directly telling you what’s up that you don’t know better. I get what you’re saying, but I’m not going to Change my format. Us being nice has already ruined our progress

          1. There are black people that are indeed asleep but the question becomes… Do we put a pillow over the face of our own to smother them while they’re sleeping or do we lovingly take them to a greater place of awareness? You as well as many others will probably never alter the approach but I had to get this off my chest.

          2. I agree with you half way in this case. You are absolutely correct about not woke black people having so many resources at our disposal, and people still are pigheaded or ignorant enough to turn their noses up or turn away. That said, I don’t believe you should change your approach, or even “be nice”, but step back for a moment and ask yourself, are you fighting white supremacy, or the people who support it? Keep in mind not all who support white supremacy do so willingly or consciously, and more importantly, some unconscious individuals are black. Are all Black people who are not woke coons? If you feel so, and you continue to attack them, I fear the sunrise you pray for will be to a bleak dark day.

          3. Shanti…for me personally…I dont get the approach at all lol. It’s like…if I used to be a crackhead, and I turned my life around but then I make videos and other post ridiculing crackheads. It’s kind of like, “Um…were you not on the pipe a few years back??” Now….if I reached out to them as a means of support because I been there/done that and have turned my life around, then that’s completely different. I am so sick and tired of these “conscious” people speaking to their own people from a place of superiority when they know what their past journey has been.

  8. Having two children of my own, the fears and uncertainties I have, constantly take me out of my comfort zone.

    I know that having a financial plan for my children to help them pave their own way when that time comes will help immensely. But knowing the color of their skin will also cause a hindrance is monumental.

    Right now I’m helping to mold their minds, some people tell me that I am giving them to much information for their age, but with all the propaganda that is being widespread there is definitely strategies that need to intercept immediately before these visuals and rhetoric become their mentality.

    I always recommend to people to tell their children truths about things especially when they are between particular ages (4 – 12) These are very crucial moments in producing a mind that will follow the lineage you left for them to reverberate in their own lifetime and future family.

    Tonight while I was in one of these fb comment boxes (setting it on fire btw) I came across a comment that was made by 16 year old young black woman. Her comment was far ahead of her peers regarding racial & social issues and them typically being so quick to denigrate their own people.

    She stayed on code! She stayed on code for the black delegation. Well aware of the narrative that is continually painted about our people. She Honestly made my heart smile, knowing that the fight will have others in line to pick up whenever or wherever we tap out, give up or sacrifice!

  9. Sweet Heart never give up because your voice is needed and trust when its time the real black people will rise up ………

  10. I definitely feel you. Sometimes it does feel hopeless. My kids are adults, well two of them anyway. But I think of the young children in my entire family. They don’t have any sense of being Black because basically they’re all born of Black and White parents. So if they’re not raised properly then they won’t understand that they’re seen as Black, even if they can pass for White. They won’t understand about being fetishized by White people because of their “exotic” look. They won’t understand how to use their lightskin privilege to help all Black people.

    I know that if I were an adult without kids in these days, I wouldn’t have had any kids because of how bad our plight is.

    It gets tiring to see how many people live in the sunken place and seemed hell bent on staying there.

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